CRITICA

I have only these tears though even more
than 20 years pass
my very first patient
but me now & she now
wait and wait for appointment at 8, nearly 9
for some reason through an amnestic fog I wander
into the waiting room
officious with a desk where receptionist should be sitting
yet no one there
and she, the patient, here all along
looks distraught
follows me into a room, my room
carpet sage green
lies down on a couch, as if fainting
wearing a hat

I’m so sorry we both say
time confused living in uncharted
hours, and this would have been so helpful she says
now that things are different
trailing behind her is a small boy,
or else birds, all wearing hats
tiny green felt with matching feathers
we turn, they are one and the same
the hat stands out
stands in for the rope
don’t worry, she said on the phone
from the hospital
you didn’t miss anything, I hid it from you

in real life I followed her for some time
successfully she got unmarried, finished the certificate
and maintained a professional position

we saw each other on the street once.