Haunting drum beat
Reverberating endlessly
Grief, dark, desolate, alone
The well envelops me
Dread, fast approaching loss
Time, you held me in your mind, heart
Nothingness is coming
Where once there was something-ness
No soft ground to fall into
My voice reaching out
You and I listening
Afraid the memory of your voice reaching down
Will disappear
Remembering the full silence of your presence
I can’t remember what it was like
Before you were there
I can’t imagine what it will feel like
Not to have you there
We have lived many lives together
Deaths like land mines
Exploding laughter and play
Into sobs and moans
Rivers of tears
Mostly you understood
Strangely
My images danced before us
Becoming shared dreams
Your thoughts expanded mine
Mine, yours
Our hearts mingled
You have seen me in the nakedness
Of my darkest, loneliest hours
When I shut you out
You became my worst fears
You have witnessed me
In my lightest moments
We have surprised each other
In indescribable ways
With anger, love, hurt, silliness
Remember
The session we did in verse?
The puppet show?
We oscillated between realms
My art laid bare
The unspeakable grief
You helped me give form to
A gift to both of us
A marriage of sorts
Now on the precipice
A kind of death
Where once there were two
Now, only one
I leave you
Profound love, loss and gratitude.
In Memory of Ralph Kaywin.
May he Rest in Peace.
